satanssapphire

Hello loves, friends, those who spent hours with me so long ago. Ha. Long sessions of therapy, and moderate doses of medication which leaves me lethargic have helped take me beyond the darkness I wallowed in. A little. Well fuck you too. Talking about those things... Dying is preferable. No. Dig, twist, rake their nails as they might.... No. I won't. So I think I am getting out. I am leaving. Not certain where. Pack what I am able to into my car and just go. Find something. Some other where, a place I could belong. It's terrifying. Yet I need something. Anyway I love you all well, and miss you sorely. Thanks for everything. <3

Gods. Ages. It feels ages since I have visited dA. I found my folder of lineart. Of printed of pages and pages and PAGES of old roleplays from Noctivagus days. I relished the tears that fell. I miss it all, quite a lot. I haven't really TRULY written for any of my characters in three years? Perhaps longer. What we write now..... Ha. It is a far cry from what it used to be. I can not say whether it is the writing itself. If it is my writing. If it all lacks depth? Description? I feel like I've lost my voice. It was a quality that my Literature professor in college always remarked on. The strength of my voice and my keen eye for detail. He w

It seems in these journals all I ever do is... vent feelings which I can not elsewhere. Things in my life have me trapped in constant restraint. I have so little time for the online world, which I profusely enjoy. A place I can come to alleviate stress. Neopets, World of Warcraft, deviantArt.... My youngest cousin graduated from high school this May. She is preparing for college, taking steps towards the next chapter of her life. Another cousin just had her first baby, the first great grandchild born into our family. Ella was born just three days ago. As some of you may or may not know from previous journal entries my grandfather has been